My inspiration to turn my Post Traumatic Stress into Post Traumatic Growth, has been a large part of my life’s purpose. Healing has not been all sunshine and roses as I naively anticipated as a teenager, when I first embarked on this path. Throughout my journey I have encountered many dark nights of the soul, and on reflection they were all significant parts of me reclaiming my authentic self.
For many years it seemed if I was to heal and live a great life that would fuel the narrative that abuse did not actually harm me, and some people may see my ‘great’ life as being evidence of the trauma I experienced – not actually being that bad.. To me that was giving abusers credit for how I turned out.
I pondered that concept for many years, feeling like I had been punished and I really did not want abusers getting any credit, for anything positive in my life. At some point I began to wonder, what if on a higher soul growth level – my traumatic experiences were not to punish me as it seemed, but to give me lived experiences, to truly understand how trauma impacts humans and our lives (this is not to excuse or minimise the impact of abuse on a human level – more to empower myself)
Many times the impact of trauma has dulled my will to live, it seemed no matter what I tried trauma would come back up and fuck up my life. I needed a bigger purpose to help me though those dark times and I decided that my purpose would be to discover how to heal from trauma, reclaim my authentic self and then to share that knowledge with others.
That way my painful experiences were not all for nothing. I realised while I continued to suffer – the people who abused would continue to win.
I decided working towards creating my best life , the best life that I could imagine, one which is authentic and joyful to me, without my abuser/s being part of that life, was the best ‘revenge’ I could get.
If somebody stole physical items from you, you would attempt to recover those items, take legal action and seek compensation.
When you experience abuse, neglect or other traumas, you may not physically appear to lose anything.
However, on a personal, emotional, mental and spiritual level you often lose or disconnect from essential parts of who you are, and parts you need to live a healthy fulfilling life.
Abusers not only steal and disconnect you from your authentic self, the abuser projects unhealed parts of themselves on to you, unconsciously you may carry those parts for many years, even a lifetime.
On an energetic level unhealed trauma causes you to become entangled with the abuser, which keeps you trapped in their stuff, as well as our own stuff.
Unfortunately in most societies seeking legal justice is extremely difficult for trauma, the current systems often cause more trauma, so for many people, seeking legal compensation is not viable.
You can however make the decision to free yourself from the abusers toxic projections and reclaim the stolen or hidden parts of your authentic self.
The authentic parts of you – still exist, you being here and searching for ways to heal, is you authentic self calling you to reconnect.
On a soul/energetic level, you are only responsible for learning and healing your own lessons, when you become entangled in other peoples stuff it keeps that pattern playing out again and again in your life, possibly with different people, until you learn to set healthy emotional and energetic boundaries and heal the original wound.
Healing requires self accountability, you need to commit to owning your own stuff and things you did, didn’t do, areas of improvement and areas you are happy with – even if others are not so happy with those parts of you.
The great news is, it’s never too late to begin the journey of discovering your authentic self, in fact the very reason you are reading this and venturing down a healing path, IS because your authentic self is calling you to heal and reconnect.
